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mermaidcafe in loasnark

PTSD

I don't know if anyone else has experience with PTSD, but mine has been triggered again lately and I want to soothe it a bit.

I'm focusing on the positive when I can and I'm always looking for gratitude and appreciation. But I know that a part of me is still stuck in the very vulnerable-feeling place, and that's showing even when I think better thoughts. For example, one of my big symptoms is hypervigilance. Even while I'm at work, I'm constantly looking around, feeling like something bad is about to happen. I can *think* "That's just a feeling caused by other experiences; what matters is to choose a more positive place right now," but it doesn't really change the symptoms.

I've been reading things I found online about this and, to be perfectly frank, many of them seemed to be written by people who'd never experienced this. The advice I found there tended to involve never thinking about the triggering event and forgiving myself for feeling afraid. I feel like my fears need to be reassured that I'm strong enough to endure and be happy under any circumstances, not forgiven as if it's wrong to feel a feeling.

Sorry for the long ramble. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd be interested and appreciative.

Comments

I don't have any experience with PTSD, but I do have that experience of not being able to snap myself out of negative feelings by changing my thoughts to be more positive. I have an anxiety disorder, and when my anxiety gets strong, I can be absolutely certain that there's nothing to worry about and still be practically shaking with fear. What I've been trying to do is treat it like I would a symptom of some physical problem, and try to ignore it as much as possible while I focus on the part of me that is still rational, but that ony works some of the time, and in any case I'd still like some way to make the underlying feeling go away. So unfortunately I have no solution, and I don't know how similar our issues are, but if you do come up with something I'd be interested to hear it.

November 2008

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